Bubba's Birthday aka Harrison's Quinceanero- by Violet

Today is a monumental day. My little baby brother turns 15. Like my mom included earlier, Harrison Fuller is the best child. He's a saint. If anything ever goes wrong at the Fuller house, you can bet he is the one putting out the fire. He's the fix it man, the cook, the brains, and the counselor. It's so exciting to see him grow up and do things, because somehow he keeps getting more and more capable. I'm pretty sure he surpassed all of my skills at age 4. He's a smart, smart boy.

So smart in fact, that he knows he has his older sister wrapped around his little finger. When I first started waiting tables and making my own money in high school, Harrison was literally the first person who benefitted from my earnings because he has the nearest birthday. So instead of the mandatory family $10 spent on a sibling, I bought him something he had been wanting for 4 times as much... because he was just that worth it. He quickly was able to use this, and was smart enough to ask his older sister Violet for the bigger and better things. So Ace and Anabeth played it smart and stuck to the $10 limit, but Big sister Violet was played like a fiddle with that sweet sweet smile and continued to dote on Harrison for his Birthday and Christmas. It's not like he was ever trying to swindle me, it was just that he saw how much I cared about him and knew that there was nothing at that time that I would rather spend money on than my little angelic bubba.

But today is his birthday- and I have nothing. Partly because I couldn't find a sweet sixteen shirt available at the game, and partly because I'm also trying to match all the great presents I have given him in the past. I have to find the perfect thing- for the perfect 15 year old. Pretty soon he's going to get way too old for his sister to pick on him and love on him- Like his too-cool-for-school big brother Ace. Let's hope he never gets there.

He is my baby....and he will always be my baby.

I have known for sometime now that all of children are smarter than I am. They never accepted the first "easy" answer when I tried to answer their endless questions. What is the correct answer to a continual "WHY" anyway? The official Mom answer is, of course, "Because I said so!". Given the mother they have, my children will always be more inquisitive than most and more stubborn. Easy answers never changed the world. They are taught to be stubborn and push the limits within reason.

All of this to say, my baby boy will turn 15 years old tomorrow. So many last times with him... last package of diapers we had to buy, last first day of kindergarten, last little league game. He is our last child, and I contend, our best. I like to say that I practiced on the first three and finally got it right on my fourth and final child. Also, that he is my reward from God for having to raise the first three. He knows that I think that he is special (actually, I try to emphasize to all of my children that they are special to me). As he has grown and progressed through his early teen years I have seen a young man develop that surprises even me (and remember my expectations for my children are huge). So...you get the idea....I like him, I think that he is cool.

My favorite story to tell about Harrison is about laundry. Being the youngest, he has always tried to keep up with the older three. He wanted to be thought of as just as big, just as helpful, just as noticed for his accomplishments as they were. In our house as each of the kids grew older they would get more responsibilities and more chores to do in order to help out around the house. Folding towels, unloading the dishwasher, sweeping the garage....there was a chore for every age. The chore would progress in difficulty as the child grew older and more capable.

As you can imagine, with six people in the family, laundry was a particularly large chore. I never minded laundry much (dusting is my demon) so it wasn't until Harrison was about four years old that I had all four of the children help put their own clothes away after I had laundered and folded them. Each grumbled as they would scoop up their clean clothing and slink off to their room to put it away. Harrison had to be told several times that his laundry was waiting and that he needed to retrieve it unless he wanted to attend school naked the next day. He stomped into the room where I was and told me that he didn't want to put his laundry away. Which launched me into an oration about what he wanted to do at that time had no place in my universe, but what he needed to do was...put away his laundry. He just stood there with his arms crossed and a determined look on his little face fully prepared for the battle that was inevitable. Having never seen that look on his face before, I quickly used my super human Mom skills to formulate a plan. I am no psych major but I like to think that I can get a small child to do something without using brute force. Remembering that he had used the phrase "I'm a Big Boy now" recently, I thought that guilt was the way to go. I squatted down to his level, looked him straight in the eyes and said, "I understand that you may not want to grow up and do big boy chores like your older siblings. But big boys do chores to help their mommies." I noticed that I had his full attention, so I went in for the kill. "So, you will not have to put your laundry away this time if you say, 'I'm your Baby and I will always be your Baby.'" I thought that I had him right where I wanted him. My Mom skills were far too well-honed for a mere 4 year old to get the best of me. However, without skipping a beat, my beautiful little boy smiled broadly and quickly said with pride, "I AM YOUR BABY, AND I WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR BABY!" ....and skipped away to play GI Joes with his brother.

Happy Birthday baby boy...you will always be my baby.

Elite Sixteen- Sweet Eight by Violet

I can't say I've always been a fan - that would be just jumping on the bandwagon. But growing up in Waco- my dad always took me to games when I was young. From K-7th, I actually thought I was good at basketball so I had an interest in all things basketball- even though I was the shortest on the team. Soon after I clung on to tennis because it was something I could learn to be good at, and didn't have to have natural athletic ability or... height.

So I remember the days of Brian Skinner at Baylor, when we used to go to the game and have to leave early because Ace would fall asleep despite the deafening buzzers. (By the way- Ace always ruined any fun times when I was younger- Always). Never though have I been at anything as exciting as this weekend's Sweet Sixteen and Elite Eight games in Houston. Hands down favorite part of the weekend was when they played "That Good Ole Baylor Line" at the end of our victory over St. Mary's on Friday's Sweet Sixteen Game.

I have nothing to say about the games that would sound original or insightful- but it was a well-played game, and the Baylor Bears looked great out there performing against a team that had such a solid history in basketball. It was a very fun weekend with Jordan and I really loved the games and the opportunity to see all my college friends who had also come out to support the bears.

6-2, 6-1 by Violet

In any sport there is a huge discrepancy in male and female athletic ability- I would be the first to admit this. (with one caveat- Anabeth Fuller- see previous post) Particularly, there's a noticeable difference in tennis ability levels. However, in September, 1973, Billie Jean King easily defeated Bobby Riggs in a tennis match billed as the Battle of the Sexes. Violet Fuller, however, has not been able to match the level of many guys who have played tennis before. I can beat those who never play, but if they have every had a racquet in their hand before and know how to keep score- you can bet that I'm toast. But- I love playing tennis with guys- I play much better and and at a much higher level. I actually can't even remember the last time I played tennis with a girl- it must have been in high school, or college intramurals.

Until this spring I had only played a handful of time since undergrad, and only a couple more times since high school. I think I really got burned out when I was younger, I played every day for 2 hours a day for 6 years. You'd think that would actually make me good...

Anyway, I just recently started playing again with a friend in the MBA program. First time out- about three weeks ago was pretty rough, but somehow my serve came back to me immediately. Must have been those summers in eighth grade serving 100 balls before practice every day so that I would make varsity. Now that I think about it, I think I peaked in tennis ability in 8th grade and plateaued immediately after making varsity freshman year. I just kept playing because I liked the tennis skirts. When I started playing tennis before middle school, my mom said that I could only play in tennis skirts and refused to buy me athletic shorts. I now thank her for it- because if you are going to play- why not look cute?

So- it's been three long tennis sessions and I think I am finally getting into the swing of things... literally. Poor Nick for having to put up with my slow progression. First match was 6-1, 6-0. Second match was 6-1,6-0, 6-0. Those may or may not be correct, but at least Im not exaggerating the fact that I clearly got skunked the first two matches. Tonight's score however shows improvement. 6-2, 6-1. Although it still looks a little pathetic- winning 3 games against any guy who has ever played before is a feat in itself. Let alone that fact that I got an amazing ACE tonight. Nick couldn't even touch it. So I consider this my victory.

Although I'm not Billie Jean King, I really enjoy playing and have to say that it has been one of the best stress relievers over the past couple weeks. Through all the tests we have had lately, this has been both a great work out and a great chance to hit the ball as hard as I can to let out some of that studying tension. The game is also so much fun, all three times I haven't been able to wipe the smile off of my face. I love playing out there and have fun running all over the court. Even the motion of serving brings back really fun memories of playing tennis all summer. I cannot wait till I have more free time to play tennis in the near future- and I will keep taking the little victories where I can get them.

See picture below for my court celebration after blowing away Nick Taylor, MBA student, with my powerful and incredible ace.

STILL LOOKING FOR THAT DANG PONY !

Is it possible to be TOO optimistic? I personally don't think so. However, I do acknowledge that a lot of people see things differently than I do. When it somes to my outlook on certain unpleasant situations, people that know me have said that I am being unrealistic, naive, or just plain stupid. Hey, I've been called worse. That is why my skin is so tough. I grew up with two older brothers. I have been called all kinds of things.....some of them true!

So there is a little girl standing in a room FULL of horse manure. With a big smile on her face, the little girl is frantically searching for something. The adult that is present ask her why she is smiling while standing in a room full of horse manure. To which she happily replies, "With this much horse manure, there must be a pony in here somewhere!"

What can you say when people are determined to watch while you fall apart when times are tough? These people crave every negative detail and will gladly suggest their methods of wallering in self-pity after they share with you their own trials and tribulations. Only Job had it worse than them. But when you assure them that everything is under control and that you are sure that this recent setback will provide endless opportunities for teaching moments for your children, countless hours of hilarious entertainment for your family, or simply that "even a little bit of rain must also fall in a life full of sunshine", they retreat back to their world of clouds bound and determined to be negative.

If I irritate people with my optimistic outlook on my OWN personal situations, may I just say that negative people irritate the heck out of ME! I find myself sounding a bit like Pollyanna to most of those who know me.....but really I am still just looking for that dang pony!

Life is a Game...Softball is Serious!

As one daughter journeys south to the big city of Houston for the Baylor Bear's Sweet Sixteen appearance, I will be attending yet another daughter's high school softball game in the small city of Crawford. Anabeth is the pitcher for her 2A softball team. A south paw with a determined drop ball and a heck of a fastball. She is quite successful in this sport and has already amassed 119 strikeouts and two, count them, TWO home runs this season. To say that I am proud of her goes without saying. But I will say it anyway.... in 1500 words or less.

Anabeth is the third of my four children. A true middle child in every sense of the birth order. Easy going, loving, kind, peacekeeper, friendly....I could go on and on. She is sandwiched between two brothers which has proved to make her stronger, emotionally and physically, than her older sister. One of my favorite things to do is sit in our living room chairs and just BE with Anabeth. She is perfectly happy to talk about herself, you..... or nothing at all. It doesn't have to be all about her....(Violet). A refreshing child who renews my spirit whenever I am around her.

Although she is extremely smart (academics are highly valued in our home) she is also athletically gifted. She has chosen to play three Spring sports for her high school this year: Golf, tennis and SOFTBALL. Golf and tennis are hard spectator sports for me to follow. But softball is a great game to watch and follow...even when you are busy talking to all of the other bleacher moms about anything BUT softball. As good as Anabeth is she is quick to give credit to her defense for her outstanding stats. Her catcher makes her look really good and the infield rarely misses a play while the outfielders are great pop-fly catchers.

Anabeth started playing softball at age 7 and was on the ten year old Midway all star team that won state. The pitching part came as she progressed through little league, she quickly abandoned her position at first base to practice her repertoire of pitches for the mound. She has spent her falls taking lessons and practicing weekends with her father....who continually swears that he is too old to be catching her for pitching practice....even though Anabeth insists that he looks dashing in the full catcher's equipment he grudgingly dons. Anabeth's softball seasson is a big part of our family's spring.

All of this to say, Anabeth has found a passion. Which is important....to find something you enjoy and in which you are able to succeed. As my children grew, I tried to continually find small ways in which each could succeed using their own strengths and talents. In turn, their confidence in themselves would grow and they soon began searching out areas of interest in which to compete and succeed....gaining even more self-confidence. Anabeth has met and exceeding all of our expectations. She has stretched her father and me to learn more and be more FOR her.

So today i will leave work at 5 in order to get my chair set up in the prime spot behind the home plate umpire (sometimes he needs help with his calls). I will be cheering for Anabeth and her teammates as they try to continue their undefeated run toward becoming district champions for 2010. Go Lady Pirates! I think we will go long this season. I will keep you posted.

Baylor Bears Sweet Sixteen

I am thrilled to start driving down to Houston (After my QBA test) for the sweet sixteen game tonight. Not that I have been to a game all season- but hey- I grew up a Baylor bear, I can claim them. More than the actual game, I am excited for old-home week at the game-many of my old friends. PLUS I get to stay with my best friend Jordan all weekend and her family- which means no computer and no studying all weekend. So because I need to take a test- and get on the road- I'm brief... for once. Something I did not learn from my mother.

Sic 'em Bears.

Post-Finance Test Blues- by Violet

First of all. I'm pretty sure I did bomb it. It completely blows my mind how I can have an undergraduate major in the subject, go to every single class (except when I was in DC), take fervent notes, and still look at a question like I have never seen it before in my life. While I love math, finance still perplexes me.

Also I need to break up the monotony that is my mother's rant-filled posts. (note: should also probably tell her to censor her titles- not everyone will understand the sense of humor that comes with: "kids...can't live with em'... can't shoot 'em")

So after venting to my mom about the finance test, she proceeded to cheer me up with stories for the day. The Fullers (and our extended family *shout out to Garners and Millards*) are a family of story tellers. We practice from an early age and repeat each story so that it's better than the former tale. Even the smallest of the clan, can dance-sing-and entertain for the masses.

But I digress. The cheer up stories: First of all, I have to begin her story with one of my own. Last night I was up at the business school studying for finance till 4 (don't worry I am not complaining again) And apparently one of the guys in the break out rooms said there was a BAT in the 3rd floor business school hall way. I figured he was just crying wolf, and dismissed it once heard.

So then my mom started telling this outrageous story- filled with motions and energetic facial expressions - about walking into her office today (in the bottom floor of the business building) amidst a commotion of Baylor girls semi-waving and semi-pointing at her. So of course she waved back. Immediately to find out that they were pointing at a bat that was falling from the ceiling. She didn't realized this until her co-worker came to tell her that a bat was hanging out half-dead outside her office. So- because she's one tough woman- she didn't squeal or yelp, she threw a box over it and started to formulate what kind of tale she was going to tell her daughter.

Definitely put me in a better mood. Especially because I was able to entertain her back with combining our stories into a business school bat consipiracy. (not that the business school is unclean in any way). Except maybe select undergrads within it.

So clearly I had to gain more information to add to my story. Just not good enough yet.

So I texted the student who had seen the bats the night before, to tell him that I finally believed he wasn't hallucinating. Once I conceded, I asked him how the bat got from the third floor of Cashion to the basement of Hankamer. To which he replied..." I have no idea. Might have used the elevator."

The End.

Whose child is this.....?

My eldest daughter flies into my office around 10:30 this morning to tell me that she has "totally bombed" her finance test. Here stands my daughter, a graduate/law student, practically in tears. This is the same test that she says she has been studying for for two days and far into the nights. This is serious to her.....something I cannot understand, nor do I want to. I graduated from college 30 years ago with a BBA, double major in marketing and management.

College was NOT about studying to me. College was about fun. I spent my time trying to figure out how I could spend less time studying(or even attending class) and more time with friends having fun. The idea of being seriously stressed over a finance test is extremely foreign to me. Although, I have taken finance tests....many of them. The "stress" part was never even entertained. The standards I set for myself were not nearly as high as the standards my daughter sets for herself. Sure, my GPA wasn't the best, but I was certain that my illuminating personality would make up for my lack of a 4.0. Besides, how personable could those kids be that studied all of the time in order to achieve those 4.0 GPAs? Of course, I have since found out that there are some stellar students out there that work very hard to achieve top grades and are able to charm the pants right off of you. My daughter is one of those people. I am still trying to figure out who this child belongs to.....

Violet has shared with y'all that I would take books away from her as a form of punishment when punishment was required (which was not very often, I have been blessed with extremely obedient children). This is the absolute truth. Mothers have to find out what is important to the child in order to use relevant consequences. To really make her sit up and take notice, I would only have to hint at no readings at bedtime or take away whatever book she had her nose in at the time. She was also an inquisitive(nosy),social(attention craving) little girl and "timeouts" away from the action worked quite effectively,also. Each of my subsequent children have proved to be motivated by different things. I guess if they were all the same, my life would be oh so boring. Kinda keeps me on my toes.

All of this to say... as close as Violet and I are, there are some things in which I simply cannot relate. Her affinity for perfection is one. And as stated before, I do recognize that the results of her self perfectionism is positively spectacular. The energy that she has put into herself and her studies have provided positive results. She is on a chosen path to graduate with a BBA, MBA, JD in less than 7 years and will no doubt support me in my golden years. I could not be more proud.

So, I guess she can have her books back now.

KIDS....can't live with 'em...can't shoot 'em.

This is why I didn't get dogs for my children when they were younger. They wouldn't have fed or watered them and I always said that I had four kids to feed and water everyday and did not need two more animals in my house.

Violet has set this blog up as a "mother/daughter" thing to relate to strangers all of the trials and mishaps of being my daughter. Yet I am the one that has found my voice and an outlet to share my many trials and mishaps of motherhood. There is five years between Violet and my other three children. The best thing I every did for that little girl was to give her brothers and a sister. I was on the road to totally destroying her as a human being when I decide to have more children. She was then relieved of the main focus of my attentions, anxieties and aspirations. Now I can spread all of those things among my brood of four. It is a tough job to be a child 'o mine...but somebody has to do it. I need a lot of attention -- thus the four children. Of course, I shot myself in the foot...who knew that chldren require a lot of attention? Some more than others(Violet).

My two youngest (girl 17 and boy 15) are playing in a tennis tournament today. Since returning to the workplace last fall, I have found it increasingly difficult to be "the Mom" and attend every activity that my children participate in. These two youngest are probably secretly happy that I am not constantly in the bleachers cheering them on....but I'll bet they miss my handy cooler with ice cold gatorades! Luckily, I have a flexible boss and can work through lunch in order to make an early afternoon softball game, tennis match or golf tournament. Today I will use my lunch hour to take lunch and gatorades to these two aspiring tennis champions, maybe even getting to watch them play a game or two. With tennis tournaments, it is kinda hit or miss on when you can watch your child play. As I remember when Violet played (and I attended every tennis lesson, try-out, practice, practice game and tournament), tennis is an all-day long spectator sport---bring your sunglasses, camp chair, and sunscreen...it's gonna be a long day. Maybe if they get into finals again, I can catch a match after work.

I truly enjoy my children. They give me such joy. Even during the years when it is not cool to have your mother hanging around at games or activities, they have been kind. I think that they would tell you that they didn't feel as though they had a choice in the matter. Truthfully, that is exactly the impression I wanted them to have. Gotta keep 'em SKEERED. My job here is done.....for the moment.

lunch with my twin - by momma bear

Just returned from having lunch with my twin sister. Oh what fun we ALWAYS have --- no exceptions. It is so freaky to people that we are so close. We have heard all of our lives, " What is it like to be a twin?" Fact is, we don't know what it is like NOT to be a twin. Fun times all the time.

Of course, these days all of our conversations revolve around our children...collectively. Hers are mine, mine are hers. Genetically our children are half brothers and sisters, so they should be closer than most cousins. And environment figures in there somewhere also. Our families live only two blocks from one another and share many of the same interests and activities. My kids really don't stand a chance...with me as their mother and my twin as a (very close) aunt there are always eyes watching them. Poor kids. But they can deal with tough.....they don't KNOW tough...

Our father is a Baylor business school graduate (Class of 1957). He worked two jobs and attended night school after returning from Korea, marrying and quickly beginning his family. He had four children by the time he was 27 and had to find a way to put more food on the table. He began our love for Baylor.... it was also located in our home town and was accepting the GI bill and had easily accessible night classes.

All five of his children graduated from Baylor University. My mother says she doesn't have a degree with her name on it....but she claims six degrees from Baylor(since she helped so much with my father's and each of her children's). She is the smartest woman I know.

My twin and I share a lot.. but she refuses to take on my oldest and finish raising her. Violet is EXHAUSTING.....mentally and physically. I have four children and she easily takes up 75% of my time. Some kids just need more. I must say, however; the results are SPECTACULAR! I could not be more proud of all that she has done in her life thus far. Still cannot say that I am finished raising her...i have a feeling this MOM thing is full-time and life long. If you know any differently, please let me know.

stay tuned....we are bound to have bunches of fun.

Eat, Sleep, Study- by Violet

For the past 3 years- my family says this is all they hear of me: "I'm tired", "I'm hungry" and "I gotta study". But it's true. No time to eat - no time to sleep- only studying.. and working. Undergrad was difficult as a finance and eco major, but nothing... absolutely nothing compares to law school and grad school. I hate to complain- I am generally a very optimistic person (taught by my mother). That being said, I love school, and I love studying and learning- but it really has consumed my life the past three years. I have used my passion for studying to accumulate degrees - but pretty soon I'm going to have to buck up and get a job. Good thing my chosen profession is all about continuing to study and read.

Funny story: When I was little, my parents used to take books away from me for punishment, because I would never put a book down. I also got reprimanded for reading at the table- which is such a no-no according to Emily Post. I know--> Nerd. But clearly I am a proud one. I secretly love the fact that I can pass off as a faux intellectual and ditzy Baylor girl all in the same breath.

Well, I am yet again hungry, tired, and need to study Finance- but I'm sure my mom will provide ample entertainment with multiple posts today.

FINALLY- by momma bear

Finally... an outlet for all of my hard learned wisdom! These kids have totally worn me out and my oldest is insistent on my blogging to share all of the things that I force her to listen to. I think that she is just tired of listening to me and having to acknowledge that I did tell her. I am documenting these tidbits of knowledge with her so that I can say I told her so! and I do so love to say, "I told you so!"
stay tuned...bound to be loads of fun!