Whose child is this.....?

My eldest daughter flies into my office around 10:30 this morning to tell me that she has "totally bombed" her finance test. Here stands my daughter, a graduate/law student, practically in tears. This is the same test that she says she has been studying for for two days and far into the nights. This is serious to her.....something I cannot understand, nor do I want to. I graduated from college 30 years ago with a BBA, double major in marketing and management.

College was NOT about studying to me. College was about fun. I spent my time trying to figure out how I could spend less time studying(or even attending class) and more time with friends having fun. The idea of being seriously stressed over a finance test is extremely foreign to me. Although, I have taken finance tests....many of them. The "stress" part was never even entertained. The standards I set for myself were not nearly as high as the standards my daughter sets for herself. Sure, my GPA wasn't the best, but I was certain that my illuminating personality would make up for my lack of a 4.0. Besides, how personable could those kids be that studied all of the time in order to achieve those 4.0 GPAs? Of course, I have since found out that there are some stellar students out there that work very hard to achieve top grades and are able to charm the pants right off of you. My daughter is one of those people. I am still trying to figure out who this child belongs to.....

Violet has shared with y'all that I would take books away from her as a form of punishment when punishment was required (which was not very often, I have been blessed with extremely obedient children). This is the absolute truth. Mothers have to find out what is important to the child in order to use relevant consequences. To really make her sit up and take notice, I would only have to hint at no readings at bedtime or take away whatever book she had her nose in at the time. She was also an inquisitive(nosy),social(attention craving) little girl and "timeouts" away from the action worked quite effectively,also. Each of my subsequent children have proved to be motivated by different things. I guess if they were all the same, my life would be oh so boring. Kinda keeps me on my toes.

All of this to say... as close as Violet and I are, there are some things in which I simply cannot relate. Her affinity for perfection is one. And as stated before, I do recognize that the results of her self perfectionism is positively spectacular. The energy that she has put into herself and her studies have provided positive results. She is on a chosen path to graduate with a BBA, MBA, JD in less than 7 years and will no doubt support me in my golden years. I could not be more proud.

So, I guess she can have her books back now.