Everyday as my children go off to school and begin their day I chase after them with kindly reminders...."Be nice, Be safe and I love you". Some might say that I needn't remind them of that everyday. I say you can never tell them often enough.
It wasn't until my elder son, Ace's senior year that he finally would turn to me as I followed him out the door and say, " What do think I am going to do, be MEAN to everyone I see?" Well,at least,I know that he heard me. No, I certainly don't expect for him to be anything other than nice to others. He was raised to respect others and be kind in all situations. But I have lived a little longer than he has and I know that there are a lot of people out in the world who are not easy to be nice to. And a lot of people in the world who will not be nice to him...his natural instinct will be to retaliate with something less than kindness. I remind him to "Be Nice" because nice matters.
Manners are a big part of niceness. Respect others' feelings and space. Be a gentleman always, not just in the present of ladies. Open doors, stand when a lady enters the room, give the elderly their due respect. Yes, ma'am. No, sir. Be nice.
Ace had an exceptionally good senior year of high school last year. He was successful in several areas of his life. He accomplished many of the goals that he had set for himself. He generally was on top of the world, and felt that he deserved the honor and respect of the entire universe...as most seniors do. Can I hear an amen from the senior moms' corner?
So with this overinflated senior confidence I felt the need to instruct him further on what "nice" really means. I spent his entire senior year constantly reciting my definitions of "nice". Nice is helping the person less fortunate than yourself. Nice is doing something for someone without receiving praise or acknowledgement. Nice is diverting the conversation to someone else when others need the attention more. Nice is doing for others in just the same way that you would want others to do for you.
Ace is a nice guy. All of his life, school teachers, Sunday School teachers, and friends would tell me what a nice kid he was. In preschool he would stay by a disabled student's wheelchair throughout the entire recess to hold his hand and comfort him because the student cried and missed his mother. What a beautiful image to have of my 6'4" son.
When he is home this weekend from college for Easter Break, I am sure that there will be more than one quarrel or disagreement with one or more of his siblings. When the screams begin, I will simply find a quiet place in my home and remember the beautiful image of my son in preschool "being nice" to a fellow classmate.
And sometimes being nice has its rewards. As a graduating senior, Ace was selected by the faculty of his high school to receive a scholarship for citizenship. As he cashed the check that was awarded with this distinction, he replied, "Who knew, that being nice mattered?" Well...momma knew and has been telling you every day of your life. Because Nice Matters.
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