I'm a worrier. I used to stress out on spelling tests in the 1st grade. I actually remember not sleeping on nights before timed multiplication tests in the 4th grade. Also for vocab tests in the 5th grade and AP chemistry tests in the 11th grade.
Deadlines and Rewards are my best motivators. No rewards were better handled than at First Baptist Waco's kindergarten and first grade program. They had a reward system set up where every five books you read you got a jewel for your sash. No matter how many books I could get at the library- I had to have that sash covered in jewels- front and back. And when the sash was filled- I received a crown. So I had a crown and sash covered in the laurels of my labor- forget about the joy of reading- that wasn't figured out till 2nd grade (when there was no reward system besides Accelerated Reader). This was all about the spoils of victory. And beating every little private school kid out of any recognition whatsoever. I guess it fueled my competitive nature a little bit as well.
So while my mom was trying to get Ace to worry about anything at all, she was trying to keep me from having a heart attack at age 11 from a timed test. Same is now true for Harrison- luckily for him, he has inherited the neurotic gene.
Always high-strung, I usually thrive on stress. But every now and then, the stress and worry will overcome me. At some points in my life- usually with the small things that I stress way too much over- I just throw my hands up. I don't like giving up- but sometimes it's necessary for my sanity. Last night was one such a night.
Long story, semi-short- We started a new semester on Tuesday. Two class periods of QBA later and we had a quiz planned for today, right after Easter break. So we were taught how to use a new program for Excel called At Risk, that only works on PCS. Luckily for me, I have a MacBook- which up until now has been able to run a Windows partition effectively enough to get me through QBA and finance. Well somehow last night- I successfully deleted the entire Enterprise system on my Windows Partition- or to translate for my mom and Cindee- "My Printshop Deluxe has been deleted off my computer, and I don't have the back up floppy disk".
So I was left last night after working 8-6, without a computer program to study my quiz on. The business school computers were also unable to help me. This is when the worry set in. I tried to study everything I could that was from the Book and from my notes, but more than 75% of the quiz is based on computer usage.
Man, this story is even boring me. I feel bad for Nick now who was trying to study last night while my computer was on the fritz and I was venting. Who am I kidding? He was watching the Duke-Butler game on his (working) computer and pretending to write a healthcare paper.
Moral of the story is- all the worry and stress and "I'm going to fail" thoughts that went through my head were a complete waste of time. I always do this- you think I would finally learn from it. But my professor said that I could skip this quiz and go get my computer fixed at the computer lab and just let my final exam grade count as a larger percentage of my final grade. Another reason business school is better than law school.
So I turn to words of wisdom imparted by my mother (quoting God): "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" Matthew 6:34
or rather, from the other Good Book- Gone with the Wind:
"I'll think of it all tomorrow, at Tara. I can stand it then. Tomorrow, I'll think of some way to get him back. After all, tomorrow is another day" (pg.947).
My computer however. is . still. not .fixed. If anyone knows how to eject a disk from a MacBook that is unejectable by the casey computer guys- let me know.
Until then- I might still be worrying.
No comments:
Post a Comment