Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Pay back i.e. response to the Break Up post by Violet


I have alot of catching up to do...

1. You cannot break up with your child. I will report you to child services, and as much as you try to explain to them that I'm over 18, they will not believe you and will throw you into jail. But thanks for giving boys ideas of how to get rid of me.

2. You would never be able to give up your nest. You are your children now, you cannot simply run off to the first cabana/ cabana boy and abandon us/me at our/my time of adulthood. The only chance you even have is to live vicariously through me during my "I am woman hear me roar" phase. Thank you very much.

3. Text Message? Are you kidding me, mom? Who TAUGHT you how to text message? I believe that was me. You cannot break up with me over a medium that I introduced you too, it simply would not be right.

4. Another Mother? No one else in their right mind would take me in after the number you did on me. I am already ruined, for a lack of a better word. Without bestowing a compliment, I enjoy the odd parenting techniques that I have been exposed to, and don't think that another mother would be able to keep up with my ramblings and story telling conversation style. Besides, I don't want a mother that decorates for every holiday, bah humbug, I'd much rather have Christmas lite- it's less hassle.

5. I will find other food if you stop feeding me, but I know that you will continue to have food because of Ace. Where Ace is, there will be food. And I can always eat his crumbs. Plus we have donut-hour every Wednesday morning at the business school, and I siphon food off that for a whole week. I may eat an enormous amount of food- but it's just fueling up because, as a grad student, I never know where my next meal is coming from.

6. But you are right about one thing, it would be you and not me. There's no way that I'm gonna be able to let go, so I guess you might as well cut the umbilical cord. Everyone knows I can't make my own decisions, so why start now? hopefully I can ease into it though- and maybe by the time I have my first child I can be my own person. OOOOORRR... I could just hand the baby over to her and allow her to start the entire mother/grandaughter dependent process all over again.

So after that post? You want a Birthday week?

Pshhh... you will be lucky if Harrison makes you a lamp from shop-class. Oh wait, that's what you got last year. Maybe he'll fork over his bug project.

1 comment:

  1. I am ROLLING with laughter!!! I was like being in the same room with you two conversing at at the peak of your debate. I will now dry my eyes and we thankful that I have not ruined my daughter like your nother has "ruined" you.....at least so far.

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